Here it is, a New Year. But are you living the life that speaks to your heart and soul?
If you just spewed coffee all over the place, I understand. Seriously, I do because a decade and more ago, neither was I. Even though it appeared like I had a great career and was happy, I wasn’t. Nor had I been all along. There were aspects of my life that were great, but I wasn’t being true to me. Sound familiar?
A decade later I am living a life full of adventure, creativity, fun, and so much more. I’ve decided to share my journey with you to maybe inspire you to continue or even start on your own exciting journey. Hey, maybe we’ll have a group of us vagabonds meeting in various places. Never know.
With any journey, there is always a beginning. In my case, the journey started the beginning.
Is This All There Is?
Have you ever found yourself asking that very question after you’ve worked hard for something? I have. It was only a couple of months after I graduated college and started my career. After that lightning bolt realization I started questioning. Questioning what I was doing, what I liked, and even more importantly, who I am. Since that pivotal moment in time, I’ve been on a quest to find the answers to those questions. The key to something more, that something that truly defines who I am.
You see up until then I had been living according to what my parents wanted for me. They wanted me to have a good job in the medical field, work my time, and retire. They were so happy and proud. The glitch was that I wasn’t. To complicate things even more they couldn’t understand why I wasn’t happy.
Just be thankful for what you’ve got.
But what if what you’ve got means settling for less than what could be? Talk about a proverbial itch that really needs to be scratched. I tried different locations, specializing in a certain field, teaching my vocation, and even specializing in a parallel vocation. All with the same end result: I was bored, stressed, and the question of “is this all there is?” still haunted me. When I lost my youngest (but still older than me) brother to pancreatic cancer, it all hit home HARD. My life was now turned upside-down. In truth, I felt alone and lost. What I did know is that I had to do something drastic because where I was sure wasn’t working.
So now what?
I did the most obvious thing that any rebellious unhappy person does: I left my career to pursue my glass art to make it a business. In other words, make my hobby my way of life. It was good for a while, but then sales went on a downward spiral. I was making what I thought would sell instead of what I liked to make. This setup wasn’t working therefore I walked away from what seemed to be my heart’s desire. I was unsure of where to go next.
Not only did I walk away from my glass art, I also walked away from the sport that I had been immersed in for a good many years, Kung Fu. From the outside the next step was for me to grade for my black belt. However on the inside, the question of “is this all there is?” reared its head again. Because being bored does not align with my DNA, I walked.
I realized is that through all of this that even though I was starting to follow what was calling me, I still was listening to what someone else thought I should do. Again, I was living according to someone else’s thoughts and opinions of what I should do or like.
Who am I? Really.
When one has had subtle, and not so subtle, coercion throughout one’s life that question can be very blurry. So where does one start? When we built our home we were told to make a list of what we like as well as what we don’t like because that all is important information. I started by admitting what I really didn’t like. That list was easy. The hard part was coming to terms with what I liked, even loved. I was waiting for the judgement to come thundering in. Once I realized that the judgement wasn’t coming, the next (and sometimes scary) step was doing it on my terms. Little by little I discovered what floated my boat.
This is the Universe calling, pick up the damned phone!
Then there were the big discoveries that were made after “fighting” with the Universe after being presented with something repeatedly. No, nope, no I don’t, not my thing while all the while the Universe is trying to send me the proverbial message to go “there”. Luckily (for me) the Universe (God) knows how to get through so that I go in “that” direction. I basically had to trust in a higher power that knows more than what I do and can see the bigger picture.
Where am I now?
After a long road of self discovery, trials, tribulations, victories, and failures I have come to discover that the answer is not simple. Nor am I. While many people have a single career or vocation, I don’t. I am many things. I am an artist, an athlete (ultramarathon runner), a chicken farmer, a blogger, a recipe tester, an adventurer, all of which I love to do and be. It took a while to accept that I don’t have a single purpose in life. I have many and they vary depending on the day, the hour, the moment. If I were to nail down a single life’s purpose it would be to live my life fully with fun and adventure.
Why am I sharing my story?
The short answer is “because I want to.” It’s also my way of being social as well as seeing if anyone else out there is in kinship. Build a tribe so to speak to share stories, give support, and have fun. Through all of this adventure will arise. Life is meant to be lived and I’m on a journey.
Want to join in?
Comment below. Where is your journey leading you and how are you going to make this year special?